The wild: it calls to me, "Forsake humanity, and be truly free!" But alas, I fear: The wild is danger; what lurks out here? The wood of the forest, the rock of the mountain: Though beautiful, I dare not try to surmount them. And nymphs who call to me with sweet voices: They seek to … Continue reading Poetry (Sort Of)
Ode to Gay Horses (Erotic Poem)
You know, my site's been in existence for a few hours now, and there's still nothing erotic on it. I need to fix that. Admittedly, I've already got this posted on my FA site, but here it is again because I happen to be rather proud of this. I don't often write poetry (other than haikus; … Continue reading Ode to Gay Horses (Erotic Poem)
Suggestive Halloween-Themed Haikus
"It's alive!" he cried. He didn't mean his monster. E-stim is so great. Zombies yelling "brains": Their metonymy is off: That head has no brain. Gays are in closets; Skeletons are in closets. Gays must want a bone. Midnight sultry snack: Those ghouls just wanna have fun, Tasting hidden lips.
Your neighbors walk in. You aren't wearing any clothes. Look, it's laundry day! Garment-wearing sucks. Putting on and washing clothes. Can't we just skip them? We are born naked. How pretentious we must be To cover ourselves!
Passive aggression Makes the worst kind of driver. Just live and let live. Inane conversation: So much worse than silence is. Please get to the point.
Good karaoke: Oxymoronic saying, But it could exist. My ears are bleeding. The karaoke is bad: Loud and out of tune. The best we can do? I really, really hope not. Courage, but still bad.
O rare ribeye steak: Flavorful essence of cow, Just a little blood. Beef is the best food, And the best of beef is steak, And the best steak moos. Today I ate steak, Made just the way I like it: Flavorful and red.
An open letter To those who poke down the road: Kindly pull over. Thou of little haste, I’m glad you have time to poke. Sadly, I do not.
Beer makes life better Sudsy golden draught right there, Relaxing my mind. O sweet alcohol, Put my weary mind at ease; Help me sleep tonight. Hanging at the bar, Chatting with the bartender, And drinking my beer.
Today's haiku sucks. Kirby, Hoover, and Rainbow: They are all vacuums.