Scatterbrained Ramblings

On Living in a Camper (Also, 1-Year Anniversary)

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  • On Living in a Camper (Also, 1-Year Anniversary)

    November 12, 2017

    Today marks the 1-year anniversary of my moving out to the property and living in a camper.  I have to admit, I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d be 31 and living in a camper.  My family was solidly middle-class, and we lived in nice houses custom-designed by my parents.  Moving out on my own (good grief, it’s been 13 years ago!), I lived in a ton of apartments and one rental house before finally moving out here.  The goal is still what it has always been: get the house built so that I can finally return to the standard of living I gave up when I moved out on my own all that time ago—and better: I’ll be living in my own house that I designed.

    But we’re still four years out on that, and since I have had it on my to-do list for a while to write a blog entry on living in a camper, I figured today was an appropriate day for it.

    Let’s see, where to start…

    Tiny home on steroids

    First off, it’s much smaller than anything I’ve ever lived in before.  I mean, it’s not a 12×12 shed, but it’s almost that small.  It’s 7 feet wide by 26 feet long, but at least a foot of that length is trailer tongue that is outside the enclosed living space, so I generally just estimate it at 7 x 25 for a total of 175 square feet.  It’s not big.

    However, with not big, there are some perks: it’s very easy to clean because there’s so little space to have to clean.  It’s also not a very far walk for anything.  It’s two steps from the bed to the dining area that acts as my desk, and it’s seven steps from the bed to the bathroom (at the opposite end).  So, you get places quickly.

    On the other hand, because there’s not much space, you end up putting a lot of stuff in a small space, and so no matter how well you clean it, it always looks cluttered.  And because it’s small, you can’t really get away from things: if something looks cluttered, you’ve pretty much just got to fix it because there’s no other room to go into where you don’t have to look at it.

    Emptying the black tank: gross, but not the worst thing ever

    For those who have never lived in a camper or travel trailer before, I’ll tell you this: yes, it does have a toilet, and what goes into the toilet must come out.  The black tank is where “all that” stays until you empty it.  When I was contemplating buying the camper, I thought that would be the most intolerable, horrible thing.  Butts gross me out, so dealing with what comes out of them must surely be the worst thing imaginable, right?

    Actually, no.  It’s not really bad at all.  I close the valve to the gray tank (sink and shower water), open the black tank, and gravity does the rest. I don’t have to see it or mess with it.  I do have an attachment I bought for the garden hose that I use to really spray down the inside of the tank, though: it keeps buildup down so that I hopefully never end up with a giant mound of…well, you know…that sitting in there, waiting for me to manually have to remove it.  Ugh…nope.  Noooope!

    I empty the black tank once a week and spray it down most weeks.  Some weeks I get lazy, and frankly from what I understand, most people only actually spray it down once a month or less, so I figure the occasional lapse won’t hurt.  As for why I do it so often, it’s just a good habit to get into, I reckon.  Means I don’t forget and lowers the chances of the aforementioned mound of that.  I think I’m gonna start calling it MoT.  Yes, MoTs are the worst.  Cleaning the black tank, not so much.

    Sitting down to shower: the worst thing

    I’m sorry, I’ve lived a privileged life, I guess, where when I didn’t feel well, I’d go take a shower, and somehow everything would feel better.  Not sure how that works, but whether it was stomach problems (except my gallbladder before it got cut out; that was the most intractable pain ever), headaches, sinus problems, or just feeling kinda blah, a shower would fix it.  That is not the case here.  Truth be told, I feel worse after showering here than I did before I got in.  Cleaner, maybe a little, but my back ends up hurting because of sitting there hunched over, I don’t get that “ahh” feeling of having water flowing down my body, and having only 6 gallons of hot water means that I turn the water off after every rinse, so there’s not much therapeutic benefit to be gained.

    I’ve thought about alternatives: an outdoor shower, a solar water heater, and so on, but frankly, I keep coming down to this: it’s temporary, I’m going to have a fucking awesome shower when I get the house built, and I don’t really want to spend the $300-$400 to build an outdoor shower that is reliable and that can withstand wintertime (word to the wise: many on-demand water heaters are not rated for cold weather and must be drained if they are installed outside).  In the meantime, there’s the truck stop, where for $12 I can have as long of a shower as I want (it turns out the longest shower I ever want is about 50 minutes long; beyond that, I get bored).  It’s not something I do all the time, but for the aforementioned aches and ailments when I really need some relief, it’s good to know there’s something I can do.  For those skeptical about truck stop showers, all I can say is, the one I go to (a Flying J) has cleaner showers than some hotels in which I’ve stayed.  I know the mental image of a truck stop is this dirty, seedy place, but my experience has been quite positive with Flying J, at least.

    And then there’s the weather…

    I have never felt as fragile as I feel in the camper.  When the wind blows, the camper shudders.  Admittedly, it’s never actually moved (knocking on wood right now), but it feels like it’s going to blow away when we get some of these 40+-MPH gusts.  When it rains, it sounds like hail.  When it hails, oh, my gosh, it sounds like somebody has the biggest dump truck full of marbles and is dumping it on top of the camper.  It is deafening!  I have literally worn ear plugs during some of the hail storms because it gets too loud to sleep.  Mind you, these have been tiny hail stones, not even as big as marbles, and I have to admit, I’m really afraid of what would happen if we had some actual marble-sized—or worse, bigger—hail.

    Before I got on good terms with one of my neighbors, we had a severe thunderstorm warning and a tornado watch.  I seriously debated with myself whether to stay in the camper and avoid the hail that came with the severe thunderstorm or go lie in the ditch in case a tornado came and took the camper away.  I have to admit, I’ve never had to make that choice before.  Fortunately, the hail didn’t do any damage, and there wasn’t a tornado.  I talked to my neighbor shortly thereafter and asked her if I could stay with her during the next major weather event.  Being the very nice lady she is, she readily agreed.   I hate having to accept charity from others, but I sure do appreciate my neighbors, I have to say.  They’re all good people.

    …And the old appliances

    In the last year, I’ve had the furnace have to be repaired (on a night when it was 19° outside, and thanks to my space heater, exactly 32° right next to my bed), had the A/C motor quit, and had the water heater spring a leak.  The furnace was repaired, and I had to replace the A/C and the water heater.  I hope sincerely that I am done replacing things.   Between the appliances and the window that some jackass broke about a month after I moved in, I’ve spent about $3300 in repairs to a camper that only cost me $6000.  Granted you get what you pay for, but I have to admit that I never thought it’d be so expensive to fix things.  I very much hope that, having done all of these repairs, the camper is now in good enough shape to last me the rest of the four years.  One can hope…

    Very important: skirt your camper

    I learned this from the repair guys when they came out to fix the furnace.  My sewer line froze.  Seriously: I’ve heard of water lines freezing, but sewer lines?  Fortunately, it was just gray water that froze (no MoTs to deal with), but it still took about 2 hours with a heat gun to get it running again.  I then learned of the importance of skirting your camper.  It makes sense, but I had no idea when I bought mine.  The skirt keeps the wind out from under your camper (where your tanks are).  It helps your camper maintain its temperature (better for the propane bill!) and prevents freezes like that.  It’s also important to insulate your sewer line going from the camper to the hookup to the septic: that can freeze, too.  Mine is now wrapped in towels, duct tape, and heat tape to make sure it doesn’t freeze again.  Coming into cold winter months, I’m partly terrified of a repeat of last year but hopeful that the fixes I put in place will keep me from suffering the same fate in repeat.  Fingers crossed!

    Conclusion: not as bad as I thought, but not as good as I hoped

    The last year has been…interesting.  Been a lot more stressful than I ever imagined, but it’s been good, too.  Getting to see my herd every day, getting to go out and see them anytime I want (including 2:00 AM, which I have done at least twice), having space to lie in the pasture, and having the sense of satisfaction of having made it this far are all good things.  There have definitely been challenges, but so far, so good, and I’m still moving towards my (slightly delayed) goal of living in my own custom-designed house by 2021 or 2022.  Here’s to the years to come!

  • Karaoke

    November 11, 2017

    Good karaoke:
    Oxymoronic saying,
    But it could exist.

    My ears are bleeding.
    The karaoke is bad:
    Loud and out of tune.

    The best we can do?
    I really, really hope not.
    Courage, but still bad.

  • Steak

    November 10, 2017

    O rare ribeye steak:
    Flavorful essence of cow,
    Just a little blood.

    Beef is the best food,
    And the best of beef is steak,
    And the best steak moos.

    Today I ate steak,
    Made just the way I like it:
    Flavorful and red.

  • On Emergencies

    November 10, 2017

    There’s a coffee mug somewhere that says something to the effect of, “your lack of planning is not my emergency,” or something like that.  I’ve recently had occasion to question whether anything at my company is actually an emergency.  According to Google, an emergency is defined as:

    a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring 
    immediate action.

    It’s true, my company designs medical devices, among other things, but our involvement is typically long before FDA submission, let alone when the products are actually in the field.  Too, if one of the products we designed did start going completely haywire, we would not be the first people to call: the first step would be neutralizing the problem (getting the product to where it couldn’t harm anybody), then contacting the device OEM (our customer), and only then we might get a call.

    Of course, when I’m doing risk management, the intent is to design products so that even if something does go haywire, the product still remains safe.  It might not work correctly anymore, but at least it’s not actively hurting somebody.  In short, my job is to identify ways things can fail so we can design them to avoid emergencies.

    So, barring a case where a product is actively harming somebody—which is very unlikely, given the products we’ve done so far and the risk mitigations we’ve put in—I don’t think anything related to my company could possibly be considered an emergency insofar as I’m involved.  And if that’s the case, then maybe I don’t need to be checking my email all the time.  Maybe when a deadline is looming or past due, I’m within my rights to say, “that’s not my problem.”  Maybe I don’t need to be at work until 9:00 or 10:00 at night or working weekends.

    True, I don’t want to be a jerk about it, but at the same time, being salaried, if I work extra hours, I don’t get paid for it.  Company policy is against comp time, so I’m basically doing charity work for the company.  And what can I say, I’m not feeling all that charitable: I don’t like what I do, yet I do it fervently anyway.  Worst of all, though, is that despite my fervor and attention to detail, I’m constantly being second-guessed by everybody on every team.  There is nothing rewarding about what I do, and doing extra for the benefit of a company of people who expect me to do more for free and then want to second-guess it?  No, there’s no incentive there.  Selfish?  Maybe.  Avoiding burnout?  Definitely.  Got to last until I can find a new job.

    In truth, the only emergencies I really need to care about are related to the health of my animals foremost, my family and friends, and the intactness of the property and the buildings and vehicles on it.  Aside from that, it’s all just noise.  Serenity prayer.  Serenity prayer.

  • 2017-11-10

    November 10, 2017

    So I know it’s been a while since I’ve written.  Oh, I posted a story today; it’s been a while since I did that, too.  It’s technically stand-alone, but I’m thinking of tying it in with Shane and Colton.  Could make for a very interesting case.  Anyway, I’ve been a slacker this week, I know.  Been tired when I got home and just wanted to sit and watch stupid stuff on YouTube.  Also been chatting with folks on Grindr; it’s a way to meet people, and out this far, meeting people is good.

    I woke up Saturday—can’t remember why specifically now—and checked my phone and was immediately pissed off; the project manager I work with who infuriates me sent an email out around 5:45 in the morning on Saturday about an issue one of our customers is having with a build we released.  I replied back, and we went back and forth a bit before I finally asked if this was something that needed to be done over the weekend.

    I got to thinking about it, and I realized something: there is no requirement where I work that I have my work email on my phone, and multiple times last week I woke up to be immediately pissed off by work emails (mostly from this particular individual).  I had a sudden epiphany: just take work email off your phone!  It was a brilliant idea, and it has been so nice this week not waking up to being immediately pissed off.  Admittedly, I am going to have to work on my attitude.  I don’t know what to do specifically, but I have got to get to the point where everything this guy says doesn’t instantly set my hackles on edge.  But for now, waking up and not having to look at emails is really nice.

    Another thing occurred to me about the same time: the concept of emergencies.  There’ll be a blog post on this shortly.  Stay tuned.

    In other news, the grass seed is spread, and we’ve had two days of nice, slow rain (hate driving in it, but it’s great for the grass), but still no seedlings.  Hurry up, guys; I hate looking at yellow grass.  It makes sad.  Let my hay guy know I’m gonna need a bale this weekend, so at least the animals will be well-fed.

    Not much else going on.  Don’t think I’m gonna be able to pay off the truck with the extra paycheck this month, though.  Rats.  Ah, well…it’ll come one day…

  • On Antsy Frustration

    November 4, 2017

    Periodically I find myself frustrated, not with anything in particular, but at my inability to understand why I’m frustrated.  It is, of course, self-perpetuating.  It hit me earlier today.  I’d watched the first episode of Westworld (highly recommended; it’s fascinating!) and was contemplating whether to watch the second episode when it struck.

    The frustration is always an antsy feeling, like I’m waiting for something to happen that can’t or won’t.  Usually I can tell why, such as if there’s something I’m waiting on (going on a trip, waiting for a package, etc.), but this type is different.  This time there’s nothing in particular I’m waiting on, yet I feel compelled to do something that won’t tell me what it is.

    Suddenly feeling claustrophobic, I went outside and just stood in the pasture a bit.  The wind was blowing pretty hard, a distant neighbor was firing his gun, and the animals mostly paid me no mind.  It gave me time to think and clear-headedness to do it.

    I think what it’s coming down to is, I feel like I’ve stagnated.  I hate my job, but I cannot afford to take a different one that pays less.  Some part of me is telling me that I need to be moving forward with the property, clearing trees, cleaning up the barn, maybe moving my stuff into it so that it’s not just out where people can see it…but I have pretty good excuses for not doing any of them.  I don’t want to clear trees because I strongly believe they’re providing a wind block from the north that is preventing the gusts from being worse, and so until I have trees to replace them, I don’t want to cut them all down, yet.  I can’t really focus on cleaning up right now on account of the dumpster being broken (I do wish they’d hurry up and fix it), and that’s where most things are destined to go.  I’d love to plant trees and grass, but 1) money, and 2) it’s not time to plant, yet.  So at least in that regard, I must remain stagnated, at least for now.  Maybe that’s what I’m waiting for: time to plant trees and the dumpster to be fixed.  Of course, I’m sure there’s something I could be doing anyway…

    Westworld is inspiring me to write a really good story.  I just don’t know what it is, yet.  Something complex.  Something beautiful.  I feel like the idea is right at the periphery of my perception, and with a little patience and open-mindedness, maybe it’ll stray near enough for me to snatch it.  We’ll see.

    I find myself wishing—and not for the first time—that I could be an anthropomorphic horse, that such things really existed.  I don’t know why, but the idea of furries has always been near to my heart.  The reality is frequently ultra-disappointing: it’s a terrible bait-and-switch where you are shown cute, innocent, lovable characters, and when you pursue them, they become lazy, unrealistic slobs.  Okay, okay, I might be a little bitter in that regard.  They’re not all like that, certainly, but I’ve certainly seen quite a few (and dated at least one).

    So, hooray for nebulous antsy feelings.  For now, it comes down to this: what do I want to do with my night?  Stay in and watch another Westworld episode (tempting, but I hate to waste my weekend), go to the bar and spend a lot of money while hanging out with the locals (and worry myself about becoming an alcoholic), write, or—I dunno—go downtown and hit up the clubs?

    I can’t believe it’s only 20:00.  It feels so much later.  Still, I’m not feeling the clubs (it’s an hour or more each way), and the bar (and the people in it more than the alcohol) are calling.  Maybe if I leave early, I’ll catch another episode, too.  Or maybe just stay up all night watching it.  Screw it, it’s the weekend, right?  And a beer might at least calm the antsy frustration a bit, masking the symptoms rather than addressing the root cause…

  • Slow Drivers

    November 4, 2017

    An open letter
    To those who poke down the road:
    Kindly pull over.

    Thou of little haste,
    I’m glad you have time to poke.
    Sadly, I do not.

  • Beer

    November 2, 2017

    Beer makes life better
    Sudsy golden draught right there,
    Relaxing my mind.

    O sweet alcohol,
    Put my weary mind at ease;
    Help me sleep tonight.

    Hanging at the bar,
    Chatting with the bartender,
    And drinking my beer.

  • Moar Haikus

    November 1, 2017

    Sweet sleep: let it come
    Resting blissful in my bed
    I wish for wet dreams.

    People are fickle.
    And I, too, am much the same.
    I cannot blame them.

    Furries are so cute.
    Innocent, cute, and carefree.
    I wish it was real.

    O black foot-warmers,
    Why must you bunch in my boots?
    Time for new, I guess.

    Haikus are so great.
    Anything you want to write,
    Just follow the rules.

  • Love’s Requiem, etc.

    November 1, 2017

    And thus the love ends.
    So sweet, so tender its youth.
    Snuffed out, still a child.

    I want to feel love,
    Set my world aside for him,
    But he exists not.

    Melancholy me:
    This is not my normal self.
    But tomorrow, sun.

    Haikus are succinct,
    Piercing, insightful, and short;
    They open my mind.

    See?  My spirits rise.
    Screw the fantasy of love.
    Erotica reigns.

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